To make friends as an exchange student, build two circles on purpose: an international circle for quick, easy company in the first weeks, and a local circle through clubs, classes, shared housing and language exchange, which takes longer but gives you the deepest experience. Because your stay has an end date, act in the first fortnight, repeat the same activities weekly, and invite people to small, specific plans.
Why exchange is a special case
An exchange semester or year mixes advantages and difficulties.
Advantages:
- Everyone expects you to be new and curious.
- Host universities often run orientation, buddy schemes and welcome events.
- Other exchange students are in the same position, so conversation starts easily.
Difficulties:
- Short time frame. Friendships are compressed.
- A bubble forms. International students often stay together, because it is easy.
- Language and culture gaps. Humour, timing and social rules differ, and these show up in small ways.
- Locals already have lives. They may be friendly but not looking for new close friends.
- Homesickness. It often hits after the excitement of the first weeks.
Our guide to making friends as an expat covers longer stays, and moving to a new city alone covers settling in. This page focuses on the compressed student version.
Local circle vs international circle
Neither is better. They give you different things.
| International circle | Local circle | |
|---|---|---|
| How fast | Days | Weeks to months |
| Effort to start | Low | Medium |
| What it gives you | Shared experience, travel buddies, easy company | Language practice, insider tips, deeper cultural understanding |
| Risk | You stay in an English-speaking bubble | Early conversations may stay surface-level |
| Best places | Orientation, exchange-student events, hostels, trips | Clubs, flats, course groups, language tandems, volunteering |
| Tip | Use it as a base, then branch out | Show up repeatedly; locals warm up with familiarity |
Aim for both by week four: at least two people from the international circle and one or two from the local circle you see weekly.
The first fortnight
Everything gets easier when you start right away.
Days 1 to 3
- Attend the orientation sessions, even if you feel jet-lagged. Introduce yourself to two people at each.
- Find out whether the host university has a buddy or mentor programme and sign up if it does; check the official international-office page.
- Learn the names of your flatmates, or your floor, if you have them.
Days 4 to 7
- Pick two recurring activities at the host university: one club or sport and one social event. Check each official page for times.
- Find a regular cafe, library spot or dining hall.
- Attend a tandem or language-exchange session, or look for the host university's language centre events.
Days 8 to 14
- Go to the same activities again.
- Suggest a small plan: "I want to explore the old town on Saturday. Want to come?"
- Message one person each day, even briefly.
How to meet locals
Locals are more likely to befriend you in settings they already enjoy.
- Clubs and sports. Choose something you'd do anyway. Regular training is perfect for repeated contact.
- Course groups. Project work and study sessions give you reasons to meet.
- Language exchange or tandems. Swap half an hour in each language. See below.
- Shared housing. If you live with locals, a weekly shared meal is a strong habit.
- Volunteering. Charity shifts, community gardens and local events put you in mixed company.
- Student-run societies, such as film, music, cooking, hiking.
- Local places you return to, like a cafe or bakery. After a few visits staff often start chatting.
Don't rely only on nightlife. Many locals form friendships in smaller, daytime or activity-based settings.
Language-exchange formats
Our full guide to language exchange for friends goes deeper. Language exchange is a particularly good structure because both people have something to gain and a script for talking.
| Format | How it works | Good for |
|---|---|---|
| Cafe tandem | Meet one-to-one, half the time in each language | Deeper conversation, friendship |
| Group language night | Tables per language, regular schedule | Meeting several people at once |
| University tandem scheme | Matched through the language centre | Reliable, structured |
| Apps and online platforms | Find a partner, then meet in a public place | Starting before you arrive; check safety and terms |
| Conversation walks | Walk and talk | Low pressure |
Tips: set a start and end time, split the time evenly, bring a few topics, and make a second meeting before you leave. Meet in public for the first time.
Scripts
With other exchange students
- "Hi, I'm [name], from [place]. When did you arrive?"
- "Do you want to explore the city together on Saturday?"
- "Is anyone up for finding a good place for lunch?"
With locals
- "I'm here on exchange and would love to learn about the area. What would you recommend?"
- "Could you help me practise [language]? I could help with [your language] in return."
- "What do locals do on weekends here?"
- "Could you teach me how this works? I'm still learning the system."
Turning it into a plan
- "I'd like to see [place]. Want to come, or show me your favourite spot?"
- "We're cooking dinner on Friday. Come over if you can."
- "Same time next week?"
For more phrasing, see how to invite someone to hang out. Do not worry about getting grammar wrong; effort is usually welcomed.
The semester clock
| Phase | What tends to happen | What to do |
|---|---|---|
| Weeks 1 to 2 | Excitement, constant new faces | Say yes, build a base, set routines |
| Weeks 3 to 5 | Cliques form, novelty fades | Return to the same activities, deepen a few contacts |
| Mid-semester | Homesickness, work piles up | Keep rituals, call home on a schedule, plan a trip |
| Final weeks | Time feels short | Make the most of friendships, plan how to stay in touch |
Most of what matters happens in the first four weeks. After that, keep the habit.
Handling common worries
My language is not good enough. Start with simple sentences and be honest about it: "My [language] is still beginner level, but I'd like to practise." Most people appreciate the effort.
I feel more comfortable with my own nationality. That is natural and useful for comfort. Just add one or two activities where you meet others.
Locals seem cold. Politeness norms vary, and a quieter first reaction is not rejection. Keep showing up. Familiarity often makes the difference.
I'm introverted. Choose small groups and structured settings. Plan recharge time. See how to make friends as an introvert.
I feel homesick. It is common and it usually passes in waves. Keep a regular call, make your room feel familiar and keep your activity routine.
I travel a lot and cannot build local friendships. Trips are great, but keep at least one weekly local anchor, such as a club or a standing dinner.
Staying safe and sensible
- Tell someone where you are going when meeting a new person for the first time.
- Meet in public places at first.
- Check your host university's and your country's official travel and safety information.
- Be careful with alcohol; norms and rules differ by country, so check local rules.
- Keep copies of important documents and know where the international office is.
Keeping friendships after you leave
Plan this before the last week.
- Exchange contact details with people you care about.
- Agree on a way to keep in touch, such as a shared message group or a yearly call.
- Make a plan to visit, even a vague one.
- Send a thank-you message to a buddy, host or mentor.
When it feels like too much
Homesickness and loneliness are common abroad. If you feel low most days, struggle to sleep or eat, avoid classes or feel hopeless, please contact the host university's counselling service, a doctor or a licensed therapist. If you are thinking about harming yourself, contact local emergency services or a helpline; Find A Helpline lists free, confidential services by country. This page is general information, not medical advice.
Practise starting conversations
Starting conversations in a language that is not your first can feel big. One way to prepare is to practise small, low-stakes interactions on your own. Solo Era is an iPhone app for doing small things alone, with weekly missions, before-and-after nervousness ratings and a journal. Its travel category includes a level 1 mission, "Get off a tram or local train at a stop you have never used and buy something there," and its people category has "Ask a stranger for directions even if you know the way." Both are small steps toward talking to strangers.
Solo Era for iPhone
Turn your first week abroad into small missions
Choose a travel or people mission, rate how nervous you feel before and after, and keep a photo and note in your journal.
FAQ
How long does it take to make friends on exchange?
Many students find first friends within days, mostly among other exchange students. Deeper friendships, especially with locals, tend to take weeks of regular contact. Start early and repeat.
Should I join Erasmus or exchange-student groups?
If your host university has an official exchange-student group or buddy scheme, it can help you get settled. Treat it as a base and add local activities as well.
How do I make local friends if I do not speak the language?
Choose activities that work without much talking: sports, music, cooking, hiking, games. Join language-exchange sessions, and be honest about your level. Many people enjoy helping.
What if I feel left out of a friend group?
Look for one-to-one invitations rather than trying to enter a tight group. Keep going to your recurring activities and meet other people there.
Is it okay to spend a lot of time with people from my own country?
Yes, for part of the time. It supports you and reduces stress. If you want a deeper cultural experience, also build a local routine.
How do I stay in touch when I go home?
Agree on a simple rhythm, such as a monthly call or a shared photo thread, and plan a visit. Small, regular contact keeps friendships alive.
Solo Era for iPhone
Try it with Solo Era
Solo Era gives you one realistic mission a week, records how nervous you felt before and after, and keeps a photo journal of what you did. An iPhone app. A subscription is required to start missions; any free trial depends on the offer and eligibility shown in the app.
