Moving to a new city alone feels thrilling one day and lonely the next, and both are normal. The simplest way through is a plan: get your basics sorted in week one, explore on foot and alone in week two, add regular activities in week three and start inviting people in week four. Friendships come later, from repetition.
What the first weeks are like
The first weeks in a new city are a mix of logistics, novelty and quiet. You do not have a social circle yet, nobody knows your coffee order, and everything takes slightly more effort. That can feel lonely even when you wanted the move. It does not mean you made a mistake. It is the cost of starting again.
This page focuses on settling in alone. If you want a deeper guide on building friendships, see make friends in a new city, and for the loneliness side, how to stop feeling lonely.
Week 1: basics and a routine
Do the practical things first, because feeling settled makes everything else easier.
- Unpack the essentials and make your bed, desk and kitchen usable.
- Learn your closest shops, pharmacy, transport stops and a decent cafe.
- Sort admin: registration, bank, insurance, internet.
- Build a simple daily routine: wake time, meals, a short walk.
- Keep in touch with friends and family from home with a regular call.
Small rituals matter. A morning walk and a coffee at the same place each day starts building familiarity.
Week 2: explore on foot
Walk your neighbourhood and then wider areas. Use public transport to try a different district each day. Visit a market, a park, a bookshop or a museum. Eating out alone helps too, and alone at a restaurant gives you steps if it feels odd. Our list of things to do alone in a new city is a handy starting point.
Exploring alone has an upside: you go at your own pace and notice things. It also builds the comfort with your own company that friendships rely on.
Week 3: join something recurring
One-off events are hard to turn into friendships. Weekly activities are better.
| Option | What you get |
|---|---|
| Class (language, art, cooking) | Same faces, shared task |
| Sports club or run group | Movement plus conversation |
| Volunteering | Shared purpose, easy topics |
| Book club or board-game night | Structured socialising |
| Co-working space | Daily proximity |
| Local meetup groups | Interest-based communities |
Go three or four times before judging. The first visit is mostly about finding your feet. More ideas in where to meet friends as an adult.
Week 4: start inviting
By now you may recognise a few people. Make the first move: suggest a coffee, a walk, or a casual outing. "I am heading to the market on Saturday, want to join?" is a good example. Keep it low-pressure. If someone says no, invite someone else.
Become a regular
Repetition is powerful. Pick one cafe, one park, one gym or one bakery, and go regularly. Staff begin to recognise you, neighbours nod, and the city starts to feel like yours. It is a quiet form of belonging.
Handle the lonely evenings
Evenings and weekends can feel long at first. Plan them in advance.
- Cook something you enjoy and eat at the table.
- Take a walk at dusk.
- Call a friend, or send voice messages.
- Do a solo date: a film, a bookshop trip, a favourite meal. See solo date ideas.
- Keep one evening a week for a class or activity.
Planned time alone feels different from unplanned loneliness.
Try small solo outings
If going out alone feels awkward, start small. A coffee, a short walk, a market visit. Solo Era is an iPhone app that gives you missions to practise doing things alone, in categories like food, culture and travel, at five difficulty levels. There is a level 1 travel mission: "Get off a tram or local train at a stop you have never used and buy something there." That is a handy way to explore a new city in a small, structured way. You rate your nerves before and after, and the app is not therapy.
Solo Era for iPhone
Try it with Solo Era
Solo Era gives you one realistic mission a week, records how nervous you felt before and after, and keeps a photo journal of what you did. An iPhone app. A subscription is required to start missions; any free trial depends on the offer and eligibility shown in the app.
What to expect emotionally
Many people go through a honeymoon phase, then a dip around weeks three to eight when novelty fades and the lack of close friends hits. That dip is common. It helps to name it, keep your routines going and keep reaching out. If loneliness is heavy, solo travel loneliness has overlapping tips, since the feeling is similar.
If you feel persistently low, anxious or hopeless, speak to a doctor or counsellor. In a crisis, contact local emergency services. This is general information, not medical advice.
Avoid these traps
- Waiting for friends to find you. Make the first move.
- Going home every weekend. It slows the process of settling.
- Saying yes to everything. Pick a few recurring activities.
- Comparing with life back home. The old circle took years to build.
FAQ
How long does it take to feel at home in a new city?
It varies, but many people feel noticeably settled after a few months of routine and regular activities. Close friendships often take longer.
How do I make friends if I do not know anyone?
Choose weekly activities, show up consistently, and invite people for small plans after a few meetings.
Is it normal to feel homesick?
Yes. Homesickness is common even when the move was your choice. Keep contact with people from home while you build your new life.
What should I do on my first weekend?
Explore your neighbourhood, find a cafe to return to, and do one small thing alone, like a walk or market visit.
Should I live with flatmates to meet people?
It can help, but it is not a must. Recurring activities outside the home are the more reliable route to friendships.
Solo Era for iPhone
Try it with Solo Era
Solo Era gives you one realistic mission a week, records how nervous you felt before and after, and keeps a photo journal of what you did. An iPhone app. A subscription is required to start missions; any free trial depends on the offer and eligibility shown in the app.
