How to Make Friends at University (and Feel Less Lonely)

To make friends at university, treat your first six weeks like a timetable: say hello and learn names in week one, repeat the same two or three activities each week, turn one familiar face into a small plan by week three, and keep the habits going after the novelty fades. Friendships usually form from repeated contact, not from one great night out, so you do not need orientation week to go perfectly.

What makes friendships happen

At school, friendships formed because you were in the same room for hours every day. University is looser: fewer hours, more freedom and less structure. You have to create the contact yourself.

Three ingredients tend to matter:

Repeated contact. Seeing the same people several times a week or month.
A shared activity. A reason to be together other than "making friends".
A bit of openness. Small amounts of real talk over time.

This means that the best settings are the ones that give you all three without much effort: halls or floors, seminar groups, clubs, teams and projects. For the general adult version, see how to make friends as an adult, and for the student confidence angle, social confidence for students.

Where friendships actually form

Setting	Strength	Watch out for
Halls or shared housing	Daily contact, easy to start	Not everyone in halls will suit you; widen beyond them
Seminars and tutorials	Same small group each week	Chat can stay purely academic unless you add a coffee
Clubs and societies	Shared interest, social calendar	Some are cliquey; try two or three
Sports teams and casual leagues	Regular training, shared goals	Check whether beginners are welcome
Study groups	Mutual benefit, repeated	Need someone to start them
Volunteering	Shared purpose	Needs a regular slot
Part-time work on or near campus	Built-in contact	Shift patterns may limit socialising
Faith and cultural groups	Community and routine	Pick those that suit your values

If you commute or live off-campus, make your campus days count. See commuter student friends.

The first six weeks

Week 1: names and places

In every seminar and tutorial, introduce yourself to the person on each side. Aim for two names per class.
Visit the student union or societies fair page (online or in person) and list five clubs that interest you. Check each club's official page for meeting times.
Choose one place to study each day and stick to it.
Say yes to one invitation, even if you feel tired.

Opening lines:

"Hi, I'm [name]. Which course are you on?"
"Do you know where we're meant to pick up the reading list?"
"Are you going to the societies fair? I've no idea where to start."

Week 2: repeat

Go to two of your five clubs. Return to the one you liked.
Sit in the same area in lectures and seminars.
Eat in the same dining space at the same time on at least two days.

At a club: "Hi, I'm [name]. First time here. What's the best way to get involved?"

Week 3: invite

By now, you should know some faces. Pick one person you have chatted with a few times and suggest something small.

"I'm getting a coffee after the lecture. Want to come?"
"We could study together for the assignment on Thursday."
"There's a film night in the union on Friday. Interested?"

If someone says no, say "No worries, another time." Try someone else the following week. For more phrasing, see how to invite someone to hang out.

Week 4: anchor

Choose one club or activity as your weekly anchor.
Start or join a study group.
Make a recurring plan: "Lunch on Wednesdays?"
Keep a short note of names and details, which helps in a big cohort.

Week 5: widen

Introduce people to each other. "You two should meet, you both like [thing]."
Try one new group or event.
Invite two people to the same plan, so you build a small group, not a series of one-to-ones.

Week 6: review

Who do you see regularly? Who do you enjoy being with?
Which activities give you energy? Which feel like a chore?
Drop what is not working. Add one new thing if you have space.

Week	Focus	Minimum
1	Names and places	Two names per class, five clubs listed
2	Repeat	Two clubs, same study spot
3	Invite	One small plan with one person
4	Anchor	One weekly activity, one study group
5	Widen	One new event, one introduction
6	Review	Keep, drop, add

If orientation week is over

If you missed it, or it felt overwhelming, you have lost very little. Many students find it noisy and exhausting, and some of the best friendships form in weeks three to ten, when the crowds thin out.

Go to club meetings. Most clubs welcome new members for weeks. Check the official page for the next session.
Ask your course team. Tutors often know of study groups and societies.
Attend a second-chance event. Many universities run later welcome events, refreshers or international and mature student sessions; check the student services page.
Join a project. Group assignments, student media, charity drives and societies are always looking for helpers.
Use your accommodation. Shared kitchens and common rooms are good places to start. "I'm making pasta. Anyone want to join?" works well.

If you are joining from another university, read making friends as a transfer student.

Scripts for common moments

In a lecture or seminar

"Did you catch what the lecturer said about the deadline?"
"Would you like to compare notes after?"
"I'm [name]. Do you want to team up for the group project?"

In halls or shared accommodation

"I'm [name], I'm in room 12. How long have you been here?"
"I'm going to the shop. Want anything?"
"A few of us are watching a film tonight. Come if you like."

At a society

"I'm new. What do you usually do at these meetings?"
"Do you mind if I join the social afterwards?"
"What's the best event of the year?"

When you want to say no

You do not have to go to everything. "Thanks, I'm resting tonight. Next time?" is polite and fine.

Handling common worries

Everyone else seems to have friends already. Many students only look settled. Most are still working out who they like. Starting a conversation usually helps both people.

I'm introverted. Choose small, structured activities and plan breaks for recharging. See social anxiety in college for tips on nerves, and back-to-school confidence for starting a term with less pressure.

I don't drink or don't want to go out every night. Many friendships form around meals, sports, games, walks and societies. You can say, "I'm not into pubs, but I'd go for a coffee or a walk."

I feel homesick. That is common. Keep a link with home, and build routines at university. Homesickness often eases as the place becomes familiar.

I'm in my 20s and feel I should be further along. See how to make friends in your 20s.

Feeling lonely at university: what to expect after week six

If you are lonely rather than just new, it helps to know that this is common and often follows a pattern. Everyone seems to arrive with friends and confidence; in reality many people are in the same position and hide it. You left home, friends and routines at once, schedules are irregular, and early week-one friendships often shift as people find their groups. None of this means something is wrong with you. For more on feeling lonely among people, see why you can feel lonely around people.

Period	What is typical	What to try
Weeks 1-2	Everyone is meeting everyone; lots of events, lots of names	Say yes to a few things; do not judge friendships yet
Weeks 3-6	Groups start to settle; some early friends drift	Pick two or three regular activities and show up each week
Weeks 7-12	Workload rises; people retreat into their groups	Invite one person from a regular setting to do something small
After the first break	Many people feel a dip when returning	Reconnect with one or two people before term restarts
Second term	New classes and clubs open new chances	Try one new setting; deepen one friendship

The dip after a visit home. Many students find going back harder than leaving. Plan a small return ritual (a favourite cafe, a call with a friend, one activity booked for your first week) so you have something to walk into.

Weeks 7-12 invitations. Keep them short, specific and easy to decline: "A few of us are getting food after the seminar, want to come?" or "There is a film on Friday at the student union, interested?" If someone says no, it is usually about their calendar. Try again another time or with someone else.

Checklist for this week

[ ] I said hello to someone in a lecture or corridor
[ ] I went to one recurring activity
[ ] I asked one person a question about their day or course
[ ] I did one thing alone on purpose (a walk, a coffee)
[ ] I contacted someone at home

Campus life also contains time alone: eating in the dining hall, walking between lectures, going to a talk. If those moments feel awkward, practise them on purpose with small solo outings such as a coffee alone or an hour in a museum. Solo Era's everyday category has a level 1 mission, "Collect a library card in person.", that fits campus life well.

Practise the small stuff alone

If walking into a room alone feels like the hard part, practise in easy places first. Solo Era is an iPhone app for practising small steps alone, with weekly missions, before-and-after nervousness ratings and a journal. Its people category includes a level 3 mission, "Join the break conversation at a class," and a level 3 mission, "Go to a local astronomy club's indoor talk." In the movement category, level 3 is "Join a beginner circle-dance session." A campus lecture, society talk or fitness class works in the same way.

When it feels like too much

Many students feel lonely, anxious or overwhelmed at times, especially in the first term. If you feel low most days, find it hard to attend classes, or have lost interest in things, contact your university's counselling or wellbeing service or a doctor. Reach out if the feeling lasts most days for weeks, you skip classes, stop eating well or cannot sleep, or you feel hopeless. Most universities offer counselling, often free for students. If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. If you are thinking about harming yourself, contact emergency services or a helpline; Find A Helpline lists free, confidential services by country. This page is general information, not medical advice.

Solo Era for iPhone

Rehearse the first hello

Choose a gentle mission from the people category, rate how nervous you feel before and after, and add a note to your journal.

Starting orientation on your own? Freshers week alone has openers and rules for leaving early.

To practise the first steps before you need them, use the comfort zone challenges for students.

FAQ

How long does it take to make friends at university?

There is no set time. Many students find their group within the first term or two, and some take a year. Look for a pattern: regular contact with a few people, rather than one perfect group in week one.

What if I do not click with my flatmates?

That is common and fine. Keep things friendly, and find friends elsewhere: clubs, seminars, teams. Flatmates do not have to be your best friends.

Is it okay to have friends from different groups?

Yes. Having several small circles is healthy: course, flat, club, home. It also reduces pressure on any one friendship.

What if I'm nervous about joining a society alone?

Go to a first session as a visitor and tell the organiser it is your first time. Ask what happens at a typical meeting. Most societies want new members.

Should I start a study group?

Yes, it is one of the easiest ways to get repeated contact. Post a message to your class: "I'm starting a weekly study session on Thursdays at 4 in the library. Join me if you like."

Is it normal to feel lonely at university?

Yes. Many students feel lonely, especially in the first term, even when they look sociable. Building friendships takes repeated contact, and that needs time. Do not judge your progress by week one.

Should I transfer if I am lonely?

Loneliness alone is not a reason to decide quickly. Give it a full term of regular activities, talk to an advisor or counsellor, and weigh other factors such as your course and finances. If you are already at another university, see making friends as a transfer student.

What if I am too anxious to join clubs?

Start smaller: say hello to one person, study in a shared space, or go to one meeting and leave early. Campus counselling can also help if anxiety is stopping you.

Where do international students find friends?

Check your university's official international-student pages for welcome events and buddy schemes, then join mixed groups as well as nationality-based ones.