If you start freshers week alone, you do not need to go to everything. Pick two or three events that fit how you meet people best, arrive early, ask one question of the person next to you, and give yourself permission to leave after a fixed time. Most students at an orientation event are also hoping someone will talk to them first.
This page covers the first days of orientation, often called freshers week, welcome week or orientation. Programmes, dates, fees and what is on offer differ widely by university, so check your own university's official events page for details. For the longer term, social confidence for students, back-to-school confidence and social anxiety in college go further.
First, what is normal
Many new students feel they are the only one who does not have a group yet. In reality, the first week is full of people who are also alone, waiting in lines, scrolling their phones and hoping for a way into a conversation. Seeing someone alone is not a signal that they are unfriendly. It is a signal they are new.
You do not need to find your people in seven days. A realistic aim is to learn a few names, find one regular activity, and feel less lost by Friday.
Event triage: pick by how you meet people
Not every event is equal. Use this table to choose.
| Event type | Good if you... | Watch out for | First line you can use |
|---|---|---|---|
| Campus tour or admin session | Like structure and low noise | Little chance to talk unless you stay after | "Do you know where this building is on the map?" |
| Course or department welcome | Want people from your subject | Large crowd; stay near the edges | "Which module are you most looking forward to?" |
| Clubs and societies fair | Have an interest in mind | Overwhelming; many stalls | "What does a typical meeting look like?" |
| Taster sessions (sport, craft, music, games) | Prefer to do something together | Skill worries; most welcome beginners | "Is this your first time?" |
| Halls or house meet-ups | Live in shared accommodation | Cliques forming fast; keep going | "Which floor are you on?" |
| Pub or club nights | Enjoy loud, late events | Cost, alcohol pressure, noise, hard to talk | "Have you been here before?" |
| Quiet events (library tour, board games, tea) | Find loud places draining | Smaller, so fewer people | "What brought you to this one?" |
A reasonable week: one course event, one taster or society session, one social evening you choose on purpose, and one quiet break. Your timetable is a guide, not a test.
Before you go: a simple leave rule
Deciding how you will leave removes most of the dread. Pick one of these before each event.
- Time rule. "I will stay for 45 minutes, then reassess."
- Conversation rule. "I will talk to two people, then I may go."
- Energy rule. "I stay while I am still curious. When I'm flat, I go."
- Anchor rule. "I stay until the first activity ends, then leave if I want to."
Leaving early is not failing. It is how you stay able to turn up again tomorrow. If you say goodbye at all, keep it plain: "I'm heading off, it was nice to meet you. See you at [place or session]?"
Arrive early and stand where it is easy to talk
Early arrival is the single best trick for people who dislike big rooms. When there are fewer people, it is easier to start a conversation, and you get to settle in before it is loud.
- Stand near the entrance, a drink table or the sign-in desk; people drift past and pause.
- Look for another person who is also alone and not on their phone.
- If you do not know where to stand, ask a volunteer or organiser a question. It is their job, and it gives you something to say.
Scripts for the first minute
You do not need clever lines. You need a question the other person can answer easily.
- "Hi, I'm [name]. Which course are you on?"
- "Do you know where [thing] is happening?"
- "Which halls are you in?"
- "Have you come far to get here?"
- "What made you sign up for this one?"
Then listen and follow up with one more question, such as "How are you finding it so far?" A good conversation in freshers week is usually three or four exchanges, a name and an "I'll see you around". How to join a conversation helps if the group is already talking, and how to go to a party alone covers the late-night events.
Turn "nice to meet you" into a second meeting
Most friendships need a second contact. If you liked someone, make it easy.
- "Are you going to the [society name] session on Thursday? Maybe see you there."
- "Do you want to get lunch after the lecture?"
- "Shall we swap numbers, in case we want to find the building together on Monday?"
Make the follow-up small and specific. People find it easier to say yes to a clear, short plan than to "we should meet up sometime".
If you are overwhelmed
If a day gets too much, you can step away without making it dramatic.
- Take a ten-minute walk, find a quiet room or sit in the library.
- Eat something and drink water.
- Message one person you know at home.
- Skip an event without apologising; you do not owe anyone a reason.
Feeling anxious or homesick during the first weeks is common. If it lasts, or you cannot eat, sleep or attend classes, speak to your university's student support or counselling service, or a doctor. This is general information, not medical advice. If you feel unsafe or in crisis, findahelpline.com lists free, confidential helplines by country.
After freshers week: where friends really come from
By week two or three, the noise dies down and routines start. The friendships that stick usually come from repeated contact: the same seminar, the same society, the same flat, the same table in the library.
- Pick one weekly activity that is not your course and keep going.
- Sit in roughly the same place in lectures and nod to the same people.
- Ask a classmate to study together once.
If you want a plan after the first week, make friends after college and friend groups and clubs are good next reads.
Practise before you walk in
If the idea of arriving alone is the hard part, you can practise on a smaller scale. Solo Era is an iPhone app with weekly missions and a before-and-after nervousness rating. In the people category, level 2 includes "Ask whether a public event welcomes beginners." Rating your nerves before and after shows you how they shift once you have done it. The app is not a way to meet people and does not match you with others. It is a place to practise showing up and talking.
Solo Era for iPhone
Rate your nerves before you start
Try a people mission and compare your nervousness before and after. Free to download. A subscription is required to start missions.
FAQ
Is it okay to go to freshers week events alone?
Yes. Many students do. Arriving early and asking one simple question makes it easier, and you will usually find other people on their own.
How many events should I go to?
Two or three that suit you are enough. Quality and recovery matter more than attendance.
What if I don't drink?
Plenty of events do not involve alcohol: taster sessions, society fairs, meals, board games. If you go to a bar or club night, ordering a soft drink is normal. How to make friends without drinking has more ideas.
When is it fine to leave an event?
Whenever you reach your pre-set limit: time, conversations or energy. Say a short goodbye if you can, and don't apologise.
What if everyone already seems to have friends?
Groups visible in the first days are often just people who arrived together or live together. They are usually open to others. Keep turning up to repeat activities and you will meet more people.
What if I didn't meet anyone in freshers week?
That is common and fixable. Choose one weekly activity, attend it for several weeks, and talk to the same people. Friendships tend to come from repetition.
Solo Era for iPhone
Try it with Solo Era
Solo Era gives you one realistic mission a week, records how nervous you felt before and after, and keeps a photo journal of what you did. An iPhone app. A subscription is required to start missions; any free trial depends on the offer and eligibility shown in the app.
