100 Days of Rejection is a self-challenge in which you deliberately make a small request every day that might be turned down, then treat each "no" as a success for trying. The goal is not to be rejected; it is to make asking feel normal. This page explains the idea, how to run a manageable version and gives five phases with sample requests. For the original idea and its background, see our rejection therapy guide.
What the challenge is
The name comes from a popular idea in which people ask for something unusual or likely to be declined every day, learning that rejection is survivable and often less painful than imagined. It is informal and widely adapted. It is not a clinical method or a guaranteed fix for fear of rejection. People tend to remember the "no" more than the dozens of "yes" or "maybe", and the challenge counters that by making asking routine.
If you want the broader explanation, how to handle rejection covers the emotional side, and fear of failure the related worry.
Ground rules
- Safe and respectful. Requests are polite, low-risk and never intrusive. Accept a "no" without pushing.
- One request a day. You can do more, but one is enough.
- Real asks. The request should matter at least a little. Asking the time does not count after week one.
- No deception. Do not lie or trick people.
- Log it. Write the request, a 1-to-10 nerves rating before, and the outcome.
You will not be rejected every time. That is fine and expected. A "yes" shows you what asking can bring.
The five phases
| Days | Phase | What you ask | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-14 | Warm-up | Tiny, safe requests | "Could I have a glass of water?" |
| 15-35 | Everyday | Small favours and options | "Could you hold this seat for a minute?" |
| 36-60 | Social | Requests involving other people | "Mind if I join you?" |
| 61-85 | Professional | Work, money and bigger asks | "Is there room to negotiate?" |
| 86-100 | Personal | Vulnerable or meaningful asks | "Would you like to have coffee?" |
Sample requests by phase
Days 1 to 14: Warm-up
| Day | Request |
|---|---|
| 1 | Ask a cafe for a glass of tap water |
| 2 | Ask a shop assistant if they can recommend something |
| 3 | Ask for a free sample |
| 4 | Ask a stranger for directions you already know |
| 5 | Ask for a small discount at a market |
| 6 | Ask for a different table |
| 7 | Review and re-rate your first day |
| 8 | Ask for extra napkins or sauce |
| 9 | Ask a librarian for a book suggestion |
| 10 | Ask someone to take your photo |
| 11 | Ask for the staff's favourite item |
| 12 | Ask a neighbour to water a plant |
| 13 | Ask for a quieter seat |
| 14 | Review the fortnight |
Days 15 to 35: Everyday
Ask to borrow a pen, request a different seat on a train, ask for a later checkout, ask a barista for a custom drink, ask a colleague to explain something, ask a stranger for a recommendation for lunch. Mix easy and slightly harder every few days. Use the what to say tool when you need a line.
Days 36 to 60: Social
Ask to join a table at an event, ask someone to teach you a game, ask a classmate for notes, invite an acquaintance to a coffee, suggest a different restaurant, ask someone to introduce you to another person. These involve more risk because the "no" comes from someone you may see again. Keep it light. For wording, see how to invite someone to hang out.
Days 61 to 85: Professional
Ask for feedback at work, request a deadline extension, ask for a small raise or a better role, ask a manager for a mentor, ask a company to waive a fee, ask for a discount on a service. Always be polite and prepared. Keep it realistic: asking is the skill, not winning every time. See networking for introverts for more.
Days 86 to 100: Personal
Ask someone you like to a coffee, ask for help with something you struggle with, tell a friend you would like to see them more often, ask to repair a strained relationship. These asks carry emotional weight. Take your time and do not rush into them. If dating is on your list, how to ask someone out and how to talk to someone you like are practical guides.
What you may learn
| Observation | Why it matters |
|---|---|
| Many requests are granted | You underestimated how often people say yes |
| "No" often comes kindly | Rejections are rarely harsh |
| The first ask is the hardest | Nerves drop with practice |
| Different asks feel different | You find which ones you avoid |
| You recover faster | Resilience builds with exposure |
Notice also what does not change. You may find that some types of asks stay uncomfortable. That is useful information about where to practise next.
Common problems
- It feels forced. Choose asks that you actually want. A real need is easier than a fake one.
- You feel hurt after a no. Write it down, name the feeling and look at what the person said. See self-compassion for support.
- You skip days. Do the next one. Consider a 30-day version first, such as the 30-day confidence challenge.
- You push too far. Rule one: respect a no. Stop immediately.
- You find it too intense. Slow down or switch to a lighter plan. If rejection triggers strong distress, speak to a professional.
Rejection challenge vs other options
If you like the idea but want something more structured, the comfort zone challenges page sorts activities by level, and the Solo Era vs Rejection Therapy page compares the two approaches to the same idea. For other tools, see rejection therapy app alternatives.
Where Solo Era fits
Solo Era is not a rejection challenge. It is an iPhone app for practising doing things alone, with weekly missions, five difficulty levels, before-and-after ratings of how nervous you felt and a photo journal. Some people use it for the same underlying skill: doing something slightly uncomfortable and seeing what happens. Free to download; a subscription is required to start missions.
Solo Era for iPhone
Try it with Solo Era
Solo Era gives you one realistic mission a week, records how nervous you felt before and after, and keeps a photo journal of what you did. An iPhone app. A subscription is required to start missions; any free trial depends on the offer and eligibility shown in the app.
FAQ
What is 100 days of rejection?
A self-run challenge in which you make one request a day that could be turned down, to get used to asking and to being told no.
Is it safe?
It can be, if you keep requests polite and low-risk, respect every no and avoid unsafe situations. Do not use it to pressure people.
Do I have to be rejected every day?
No. A yes is fine. The skill is making the ask.
What if I cannot do 100 days?
Run a shorter version, such as 30 days. The principle works at any length.
Does this help with social anxiety?
Practising small, manageable requests can build comfort, but it is not treatment. If anxiety is severe, consider professional support.
Solo Era for iPhone
Try it with Solo Era
Solo Era gives you one realistic mission a week, records how nervous you felt before and after, and keeps a photo journal of what you did. An iPhone app. A subscription is required to start missions; any free trial depends on the offer and eligibility shown in the app.
